Addicted
by cupcake's angel
Summary: Draco Malfoy has a bad day and starts cutting himself to get his emotions out. Before he knows it, he’s addicted to that action. One night, he gets some help from an unexpected person. Mild HD slash.


Title: Addicted  
  
Summary: Draco Malfoy has a bad day and starts cutting himself to get his emotions out. Before he knows it, he's addicted to that action. One night, he gets some help from an unexpected person.  
  
Rating: PG-13 for cutting and preslash Harry/Draco style. Don't worry, nothing too graphic. Oh and ONE cuss word.  
  
AN: Hi! This is my first official story, and I'm pretty proud of it! I mean hooray, it's kind of a PWP only because I couldn't think of a good one. Only one chapter so it's pretty short, but I think the message gets across. All characters belong to J.K. Rowling. I only own the plot. Please read and review. Please people! It's my first fic, I'd like at least one! Flames are accepted. I need some helpful criticism to make my next stories even better. Enjoy!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Curious things, habits. People themselves never knew they had them.  
Agatha Christie  
  
Draco Malfoy was having a bad day. A bad week, actually. It seemed that nothing could go right. Quidditch practices were hard considering they had no upcoming matches and he was tired from staying up late to try to finish his homework that the teachers just *had* to pile on. He was even having a bad time in Potions, his favorite class. Seeing his enemy, Harry Potter, there every day definitely didn't help his mood. In classes, at meal times, in the halls – there was just no escaping that kid. If Draco didn't know better he'd say that Harry was following him. Loser.  
  
In Transfiguration, he tried to think of ways to feel better. He had done almost everything he could think of. He even broke up with Pansy. Although that made him feel great, it still wasn't good enough. See, one other little problem there was that not only did he hate her, he thought he might be gay and therefore the relationship meant nothing to him at all. He was still mad. Eventually, and idea came to him. He knew what he wanted to do to make him feel better. He'd done it before, and it did help. The only thing he had to do now was to wait until he could be alone. It was one of the longest days of his life.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Draco reached for the bandages in his bag. Finally alone he'd been able to do the thing that he'd been wanting to all day. Putting on a bathrobe and grabbing a knife he had gotten as a present from his father, he climbed down the stairs from his dormitory trying to make as little noise as possible. After checking to make sure the coast was clear, he left and started towards the Prefect's bathroom, watching for teachers and Filch as he went. Whispering the password, he silently crept inside.  
  
Once there, he locked the door, pulled up his sleeve and without hesitation pushed the knife into the skin on his left forearm. The response his body gave him was immediate. Everything he'd been feeling over the last few days flushed out of him as endorphins rushed around his bones attempting to ease the pain of the cut. Although feeling better, Draco couldn't take just standing there watching his blood flowing free and was forced to sit down. Gasping slightly, he stretched out his other arm to pick up his Band-Aids and slowly put them on, glad he was feeling better.  
  
After catching his breath Draco Malfoy headed back to bed, happy they wore long sleeves at school.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
For Draco, the next few weeks at Hogwarts were some of the best he'd ever spent there. After first cutting himself in the Prefect's bathroom, he'd been going back almost every night to repeat that action (he was surprised he never got caught), each time feeling better. Although cutting didn't only help him when he was feeling down, when he was happy it made him even more so. He'd run out of room on his left forearm and had to move from his elbow up to his shoulder. He didn't quite know where to go from there, but figured cutting with his left hand couldn't be much different from his right.  
  
Walking into the Great Hall for breakfast he caught Harry Potter staring at him again.  
  
"Loser," Draco mumbled to himself. "Wonder what amazing feature about myself has caught his attention today?"  
  
Seating himself between Crabbe and Goyle he took some bacon and eggs and began to eat. Expecting the usual report from his father, Lucius, it was no surprise to him when his eagle owl landed on the table, a note clutched in its beak. Barely looking up, he took the note, gave the bird some bacon, and was starting to open it as feathers sounded in the air again.  
  
Dear Draco,  
  
I have reported to the Dark Lord your excellent behavior regarding examining your fellow students and letting me know which would be perfectly suited for work as Death Eaters. He is very pleased and wishes me to let you know that when you finally become a Death Eater yourself, you will be greatly rewarded. I'm not quite sure what he has in mind yet, but I'm sure it will be terrific.  
  
I'll let you know more as soon as I find out. Keep up the good work.  
  
Lucius  
  
Draco sighed as he put the letter into his pocket. It never ceased to amaze him how his father always signed letters to him with his first name. Then he thoughts of being rewarded by the Dark Lord himself sprang into his mind. What could his prize be? Would he be in the top ranks of Death Eaters? Would he be allowed to do more within the group?  
  
During his thinking session Draco's appetite seemed to have grown. He finished what was on his plate and reached fore more, smiling the whole time. Finally full, he grabbed his bag and started off for his classes. Potter was staring at him again, but this time with a weird look on his face, something like sadness. But Draco was too caught up in his own thinking to even notice.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
That night after all of Slytherin house had gone to sleep, Draco picked up his usual cutting supplies and left for the bathroom. Tonight he wasn't doing this to make his depressed feelings go away. Tonight he was doing it as a present to himself. After all, it was a happy time that could always be happier. He could sense that tomorrow he would be positively glowing. And he was right.  
  
He was so caught up in his plans that he didn't realize he'd walked headfirst into someone until they both crashed on the ground, causing Draco's knife to skid across the floor. His heart skipped a beat when he realized he'd ran into Harry Potter himself, who was now sitting in his pajamas on the floor with a confused look on his face.  
  
"What are you doing up?" Draco angrily whispered as he got to his feet and began searching for his knife.  
  
"I'm going to the kitchens for some food!" Potter murmured back, just as miffed. "What are you doing up?"  
  
Before Draco had a chance to reply, he heard footsteps coming in the boys' direction.  
  
"Filch is coming!" Harry said. "Let's get into that room there! Come on, hide!"  
  
Those words kept running through Draco's brain. Hide. Hide. Hide. But he wouldn't go without his knife. Not only would he loose a...useful possession but it might also give away the fact he was here if found. Looking up he saw Potter push open a door and run inside. Turning back down and finally spotting his blade, Draco grabbed it and rushed into the same room as Potter, locking the door behind him.  
  
Both boys tried to hold their breath as they listened to Filch talking to his cat, Mrs. Norris, just down the hall. Surely he'd check all the doors along this passage. Jumping slightly they heard a noise coming from the kitchen's direction. Apparently Potter hadn't been the only one visiting there tonight.  
  
Draco turned his head the other direction as to listen with that ear to the door and found himself face to face with the raven-haired boy. He noticed his eyes widen as Filch's footsteps were heard running past their door towards the kitchen. After listening for a few more moments, both boys backed away from the door and took seats on the floor of the room, too nervous to open the door and see if Filch had really gone.  
  
Draco began thinking once again of what rewards the Dark Lord had in store for him and had just started to forget he was locked in a room with a person whom he not only hated but who had taken up the hobby of staring at him all the time when that very person spoke.  
  
"You never answered my question, Malfoy. What were you doing up? I know you weren't going to the kitchens, you were headed in the opposite direction. You hadn't just been there because you didn't have any food. What were you doing?"  
  
"Good observation skills, Potter," Malfoy replied sarcastically. "I was going to the bathroom, as a matter of fact."  
  
"Oh, okay," Potter quietly uttered.  
  
'That's it, enough of him, I have things to do,' Draco thought. Just as he was reaching for his wand to unlock the door, a voice came out from behind him.  
  
"Why did you have a knife?"  
  
Draco froze. Even if Potter didn't have the best observation skills, he hadn't exactly hid the fact that he was carrying a sharp weapon with him. He stayed facing the door.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You heard me, why did you have a knife? I mean, since you were just going to the bathroom and all." Harry gave him a sorrowful look again, as if he knew what Draco had been doing all along. "You weren't thinking about...*hurting* yourself, were you?"  
  
Unable to face him, Draco just dropped his hand and shook his head. Sure he didn't care what he was doing; he loved to do it! It was just...that it was his little secret with himself. His own little guilty pleasure. The last person he wanted to find out about it was his archenemy.  
  
"Draco," What? Did he just say *Draco*? "You don't have to lie. I won't laugh. I won't make fun. I won't be mean. I just want to help you. I really should. You shouldn't be doing this to yourself."  
  
"Why do you want to help me?" Draco found himself almost screaming and lowered his voice. He turned and took two quick steps towards Potter. Yes, *Potter*. "We hate each other remember? I don't need your help! And what makes you so sure I'm even doing it? I was going to the bathroom, and I just happened to have a knife with me? Big deal!"  
  
"Because I've been there!" Potter said, now rising and walking towards Draco. "I used to cut myself, too! I was addicted to it!" He rolled up his left sleeve and showed Draco the multiple scars he had crisscrossed up and down his arm. Draco thought it was awfully straightforward of him, but didn't say anything. "I didn't even need a reason to do it; I just liked to so I did! Now I can just tell when people are doing it. It's like a crappy sixth sense or something! Anyone who's doing that to himself needs to get some help! Now will you drop the archenemy shit and just let me help you?"  
  
Draco's ears were ringing after Potter's little speech. He hadn't expected any of that. But one part of it stood out specifically to him. The word *addicted*. Draco had always thought about that word being connected to a drug, or caffeine, or some sort of substance. He hadn't even realized that he was addicted to something else: cutting. Just as Potter was. He didn't even need a reason; he just always did it. He had always been taught that if he knew someone with an addiction, the most important thing was to help them because they really had a problem. He knew that *he* was the one with the huge problem, and he probably did need help. Although he hated to admit it, what he was doing was dangerous.  
  
As all this information swirled around his brain, Malfoy's legs gave way and he just dropped to the floor. Potter sat down beside him and put his arm around Draco's shoulders, leaning his dark-haired head against the blonde one. Draco was surprised he didn't shake him off. All this was coming at him too fast, and he needed someone with him right now. Potter could be the person to help him with his addiction. Now he and Potter had a special bond. The brotherhood of cutting. He hadn't said aloud that he was in fact doing it, but he assumed Harry got the general idea. Not even realizing it, Draco began to cry, taking himself by surprise.  
  
Potter was a good supporter keeping his arm around Draco he whole time, sometimes rocking back and forth, others just speaking softly. When Draco finally stopped weeping, Potter asked him lightly, "Can I see?" With a little hesitation, Draco took off his bathrobe and rolled up his sleeve exposing his marks to who he could only hope was a newfound friend.  
  
Harry didn't look disgusted or surprised or any of the emotions Draco would have guessed him to have. He just took Draco's arm in his hands and kissed one of his scars lightly.  
  
That was a definite shock to Draco. His enemy who he'd only come to like in the last five minutes just kissed his cut up arm. Major red flag in the Malfoy brain. Yet...he still didn't pull away. The look in Potter's eyes when he lightly touched his lips to Draco's skin sent shivers up and down his spine. He'd never really thought about it, but Harry did look sexy in the moonlight with his button up pajama shirt almost halfway open.  
  
Not even realizing what he was doing, he bent over and captured Harry's lips with his. He didn't care how weird this was. He didn't care how fast he had made the decision to do it. He didn't care that he just officially proved to himself that he was gay. He just knew that when he was hurting, Harry Potter had actually wanted to help him. That he had actually cared.  
  
Much more to his surprise, Harry hadn't resisted the kiss. Instead, he made it deeper, more intense. As one, both boys started to lie down on the cold stone floor.  
  
As Draco began to unbutton Harry's shirt the rest of the way and Harry commenced removing Draco's, a new thought came across Draco's mind. 'Hey,' he thought, 'I'd definitely rather be kissing someone then hurting myself. What do you know? He helped me after all. I'll just have to make sure that he's free to help me every night!'  
  
As the kissing started to get more intense and the clothing started to become scarcer, Draco paused and came up for air. "Harry?" hee, hee. *Harry*. "What are we doing? I mean, we hate each other. We only have one thing in common and this is what it leads to? Are things gonna be different now? Are we actually going to start dating or something and show the whole school just how you helped me?"  
  
Harry licked his lips and thought. Draco mentally smacked himself for asking too many questions.  
  
"If you're not fine with this, we can stop." Harry answered." I just think you should know what a great person you are. I can help you in other ways, but...it's also true that you are an attractive person and...if you wanted to...you know, stop being enemies and become friends or even more that'd be fine with me. There's a thin line between love and hate, you know."  
  
Draco smiled. 'You know,' he thought, 'Harry's not really such a bad person. And he's definitely not bad looking. Nice muscular seeker's build, there. I can see it in his eyes that he likes me, and truthfully, I'm starting to like him, too. I'm fine with the decision to do this, and I think I'm going to. Boy is the school gonna get a shock tomorrow. My oh my, what will daddy think? Screw it, who cares. I'm going in.'  
  
He grabbed Harry's face and pulled him into a deep kiss. Soon Draco was doing some things he'd never done before. But he had made up his mind. He had Harry Potter now. He'd never have to cut himself again.  
  
AN: okies, the end! So how'd yall like it? Ending could use some work in my opinion, but who cares. As I said before, it gets the message across. Thanks for reading and stickin through till the end. Kisses! P.S. If you leave me a review (do! do!) then I WILL thank you, but in my next story since this one is done : ) 


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